(c) Breeze Vincinz
The Beautiful Man List started in retaliation to the “Most Beautiful People” issues of mainstream magazines (e.g. People, Us Weekly). More than likely the lists would be filled with page after page of thin, chiseled, young, clear skinned people of no color that would fit in quite well in your typical Gossip-Gilmore-Girl-Smallville-90210-esque television show. At the time, I wondered where in the world James Avery, the guy who played the dad on “Fresh Prince of Bel-Air” would fit. Or Heavy D. Or any of the “Wassup Guys”. These were the people who rocked my world at the time and in certain ways still do. It began this train of thought of what exactly do I consider to be “beautiful”… and why.
Over the years I have gotten some slack over the choices I’ve made, mainly because the choices I have made have been quite antithetical to the original rebellious intention of the list. There have been more than one thin, chiseled, young, clear skinned man of color that would fit in quite well in your typical I’m-a-thug-but-I-have-a-stylist-and-a-Pilates-trainer hip hop video.
What I have learned is, you just can’t please everybody. And while I do understand how grueling it is to compose a comprehensive list, I’m still unsatisfied by what the mainstream considers to be “beautiful”, and maybe just a little ashamed that in certain instances, I concur.
Over the years when I have posted a personal ad what I have done is reprinted the lyrics to Alanis Morissette’s “21 Things I Want In A Lover” with the notice that these things are exactly what I’m looking for also. They are also what I consider to be the most beautiful attributes of men. The gist of the list is someone who smart, funny, conscientious and can fuck like a stallion. All of which you don’t need a six pack to be… though it wouldn’t hurt… thus the overlap.
So without further ado, I present to you the 4th Annual Monthly Breeze Beautiful Man List. Each one of these men I feel embody every one of the 21 things I and Alanis are looking for in a lover. The majority of these dudes are straight, married or both… but even still… just beautiful…
10. Common (Rapper)
Over the years I have garnered quite the appreciation for Common. He’s truly one of the very few rappers out there that comes off as street smart but not a minstrel show. And that body doesn’t hurt at all.
9. Luis Guzman (Actor)
I have just always loved this dude! I just think he’s adorable and his eyes get me every time! I read this interview he did in Esquire magazine once and fell more in love with him. He has this very unassuming masculine yet humorous quality about himself that just knocks me out. And he’s short… always a plus.
8. Nate James (Singer)
So this is my dream. I’m in NYC, 2:00 a.m., having a hot dog while looking at some magazines on the corner. Nate James gets out of his cab, preferably after a performance of some sort and asks the cashier if he can break a $100 dollar bill. Cashier gives him a smirk no. I give him a smirk yes and give him five $20 bills. He graciously thanks me, hands the cabbie two of the $20 bills, comes back to me and says, “Thanks so much man. I don’t mean to stare but… have you heard that song ‘21 Things I Want In a Lover’ by Alanis Morissette?” with the biggest smile on his face.
7. David Otunga (Reality TV Star)
Truthfully, he should be much higher. Physically, I can’t think of too many men who are as blatantly attractive. But he does have a few flags, volunteering to be nick named “Punk” on national television is one. Literally crying because he could not win the heart of Tiffany “New York’ Pollard on the same television show is another. And though I absolutely love Jennifer Hudson… I mean… come on… have we learned nothing from Star Jones or Terry McMillan?
6. Diesel Washington (Porn Star)
I am very proud to announce the first official Porn Star on the Beautiful Man List. And if I were going to choose a porn star, Diesel would most certainly be the dude. The physical attributes are obviously there: tall, dark, handsome… and his sexual prowess has been documented and certified platinum on several DVDs by Titan Media. But if you ever took a look at his MySpace you’ll see he’s actually a very funny, sensitive and thoughtful guy. If Michelangelo's David were a human I imagine it would be Diesel, you know… if he were bald, had a ten inch penis and liked to fuck white boys into pretzels… which you know… would be kinda weird.
5. Manny Ramirez (Los Angeles Dodgers)
So I know as much about baseball as your typical baseball fan would know about Tori Amos. What I do know, however, that his face was plastered on every screen in my gym for weeks when he was getting into all that trouble with his drug use. I know it’s politically incorrect to think but all that was rolling through my head at the time was… he’s a professional athlete with dreadlocks who’s willing to share his stash… I GOTS to get me some of dat!
4. Deadlee (Gay Rapper)
Once upon a time me I was fooling around the internet and found this really cute dude who claimed himself to be a gay rapper. Fast Forward a year or two and I’m performing with the same cute dude at Los Angeles’ Outfest Spoken Word festival. Fast Forward a couple more years and I’m actually drinking and having conversations with the same cute dude at my local bar. If Diesel is the first porn star on the list, Deadlee is the first person that I sorta know on the list so it’s a little hard to gush here but I’ll say this… I’m still a fan, he’s still cute as all hell, and I wouldn’t mind doing a tequila shot or two off of his stomach.
3. Naveen Andrews (Actor)
Now this one I have to attribute to my friend Jair who listed him in his “Beauty of Humans” section of his MySpace page. I have always thought this dude to be the heartthrob on “Lost” and always thought I was alone in my lust until I saw an incredibly handsome and groomed picture on Jair’s page and decided to search for more pictures on the net that resulted in just a bevy of photographs that fully show this dude to be a walking aphrodisiac. I get that there’s a certain allure between that whole Kate, Jack, Sawyer triangle but I think it’s definitely time for Sayid to get some naked time… how about with Hurley!
2. Michael Eric Dyson (Academic)
I think anybody who has ever seen this dude talk for even thirty seconds would be convinced without a doubt that the rivers that run through this dude are endlessly deep. I love the fact that he constantly challenges all Black men including himself to rise above the inconsistencies that we all fall into. Add that sexy ass beard of his and you have got one well rounded brother that would most definitely have me stuttering if I ever met him.
1. Barack Obama (President Elect)
“This is our chance to answer that call. This is our moment. This is our time - to put our people back to work and open doors of opportunity for our kids; to restore prosperity and promote the cause of peace; to reclaim the American Dream and reaffirm that fundamental truth - that out of many, we are one; that while we breathe, we hope, and where we are met with cynicism, and doubt, and those who tell us that we can't, we will respond with that timeless creed that sums up the spirit of a people: Yes We Can.”
Dear Mr. Obama,
Yes I Will.
Love,
Breeze
