CHANGING OF THE GUARD

© Breeze Vincinz

For the past couple of months I have seen some of the most despicable, backstabbing, wicked, deplorable acts being perpetrated within the Black Gay community and I think at this point I have officially had enough.

For those of you not in the know I have worked and been associated with a few organizations that serve the Black Gay community here in Los Angeles and while I have definitely only been on the peripheral in terms of the organizational duties of these businesses, I have been front and center as a handful of narcissistic bastards whose egos far outweigh their capacities spend far too much time and money (sometimes even there own pension funds) trying to destroy establishments whose core purpose is to do nothing more than to serve the community. What’s frustrating is that these bastards were once a part of the same organizations that they repel against. And what’s even more frustrating is that they never showed as much passion, fervor or dedication during their employ and/or association as they are now trying to raze, destroy and emasculate.

One of these organizations’ sole purpose is for the protection of Black Lesbians. During the course of the past couple of years, this organization has hobbled along trying it’s best to maintain fiscally and socially but their has been so much in-fighting, so much miscommunication and so many grossly enlarged egos that for every step the organization tries to make forward they wind up taking two steps back.

It’s now come to the point that every time this organization makes even the slightest move, this clan of disgruntled, cowardly, superficial witches swoop down to thwart the efforts being made. But at what cost? And to what end? And where was this mystifying fervor of excitement back when they were part of the organization and needed that strength the most? It’s to the point where even personal pension funds are being used to destroy. If you are going to sacrifice your financial stability, why not use it to build community instead of tearing it down?

Recently, yet another coal hearted, inhuman, bastard vampire stole the identity of a colleague of mine and under that stolen identity, began a verbal assault on various members within the Black Gay community here in Los Angeles. Who does that type of evil serve… and at what cost? And to what end?

It seems every day lately when I open my mailbox I see the work of these demons in flesh operating as the voice of the Black Gay constituency and I feel myself getting angrier and angrier as my questions never get answered… who benefits if you destroy organizations that benefit Black Lesbians, and what does it say about you when the only way you can speak your words is to steal someone else’s voice… and when you do that… who does it serve… and at what cost! Because at the end of the day… it is the Black Gay community that is suffering; there are hundreds upon thousands of Black Gay people in this country, present company included, that need to feel validated, authenticated and empowered. And if during the course of your day if your main concern is to tear down organizations that help Black Gay people or to steal the voice of a Black Gay person to push your own agenda I still have to ask… who the fuck are you serving… because it surely isn’t the Black Gay community… and I most certainly doubt you looked up for inspiration.

I often discuss some of the dissension I have witnessed to a heterosexual colleague of mine who does not quite grasp why there is so much discord. I usually brush it off with the inclination that, it’s a gay thing, he just wouldn’t understand. But the truth of the matter is; I don’t get it myself. To me, it comes off a little like cutting off your nose to spite your face; instead of dealing with the whole, you destroy this one part, and now the whole thing is fucked up. Instead working out your issues with a particular Black Gay organization, you put in this effort to disrupt their events, fucking with everyone involved: the Black Gay organization, the event sponsors and the greater Black Gay community who would have benefitted.

And for what purpose? And to what end?

During this season of presidential primaries I have noticed that the main chorus being sung from all of the candidates is “change”; that there were certain decisions made during this administration that were “questionable” to say the least. Most notably solving problems in a very patriarchal “cowboy” way. And the more I think about that, I think about what I said to my heterosexual colleague in regards to the conflicts I have seen in the Black Gay community. And I realize that, it’s not a gay thing. This concept of stripping down your adversaries to only their adversarial acts… it’s an American thing. Once you strip a person of their character, culture and history and leave only the repugnant parts that can serve your agenda, it’s much easier to hate them, or blame them, or bomb them. And as millions of Americans who are ravenous for “change” can tell you, it just doesn’t work.

This clan of disgruntled, cowardly, superficial witches maligning the work of an organization that benefits Black Lesbians to further their personal egocentric agenda just doesn’t work.

Me calling a group of women a clan of disgruntled, cowardly, superficial witches because of their current heinous actions, maligning all other aspects of their character, just doesn’t work.

Change is desperately needed, present company included. And no matter what the results of the 2008 election is… a change is going to come. I look forward to the changing of the guard here in America. I hope I can learn from the examples that will be set. I hope we all can. In the meantime, there are still lessons that can be learned from the mistakes that have been made. And I hope that with every decision we make as Americans, as Blacks, as Whites, as Gays, as Straights that we do it asking those pertinent questions like… who does this serve, and at what cost?

I just have a sneaky suspicion that friendships, reputations, lesbian retreats, pension money and thousands of soldiers’ lives alike could have all been saved if they were asked beforehand… and the answer came from above.