BEST OF BOTH WORLDS

(c) Dale Guy Madison

Would a man’s sexual preference in being strictly a bottom or strictly a top be the ‘deal breaker’ in considering a long term relationship with him?

Back in the day, let’s say the late 1970’s, I received a copy of my GAY 101 TEXTBOOK and I flipped to the chapter called: “Pancake Queens.” Old school fags used to call them “Confused Sissies” or “Flip Flop Queens.” It seems there was this unspoken rule that states:

Some of us strictly take dick (BOTTOMS), Some of us strictly throw dick (TOPS) and then some of us are confused who do both (VERSATILE).

There is a delicate balance that cannot be disturbed between Tops & Bottoms. I upset that balance because I refused to be strictly anything.

I was one of the lucky fags. About 10 of my high school buddies all came out of the closet with me in 1976. We were a wonderful support to each other. We had each other to guide us through this magical world of GAY-O-RAMA. What we did not know was that our generation of disco, platform shoes and glitter dust ushered in a revolution that upset the balance of gay nature. We loved giving and receiving. We dressed asexual. We weren’t extremely masculine nor were we AB FAB! You could say we were like Marlo Thomas, “Free to Be… You and ME”:

Every boy in this land grows to be
his own man

In this land, every girl grows to be
her own woman

Take my hand, come with me
where the children are free

Come with me, take my hand
and we'll run

to a land where the river runs free
to a land through the green country
to a land to a shining sea
to a land where the horses run free
to a land where the children are free

and you and me are free to be
and you and me are free to be...
...you and me

I came out the closet in 1976 and although I was young and full of cum, I was not dumb. I quickly purchased a copy of The Joy of Gay Sex. I rationalized that this gay life was the ultimate “best of both worlds”. Where else could you go and have as much sex as you want to and not get anyone pregnant? My Dad had 13 illegitimate kids; the last thing I wanted was to get some girl pregnant. I loved sex, this was the perfect solution! How dare you tell me I can’t use both organs God gave me? I loved dick as much as I loved ass.

The generation before me seemed to think that gay life had to be some reflective version of a heterosexual life. Gay relationships had roles. There was a masculine (TOP) role and a feminine (BOTTOM) role. To me, that did not seem very GAY. I did not want to be locked into a role. You see the TOP role inferred better and BOTTOM role suggested less.

I did not think of myself as less of a man because I choose to give up my manhole. I did not think of myself as better because I was enjoying a tight juicy ass. The multiple options of gay sex made me feel that two men enjoying each other in every versatile way possible was the best sex.

Larry was the first man I was involved with who was an exclusive top. He took that role seriously. Emotionally and sexually, he had to be the one in control. He was older, made more money, liked to take care of me and shower me with gifts. That’s where we had problems. He wanted me to be a quiet, passive lover who stayed in the background. But my personality was too “out there” to settle for being quiet. I loved the gifts and the trips and the Sunday ritual of massaging his scalp with Sulfur 8 ointment. He used to let me go through his closets and select a tie for each of his suits; I would pre-tie each in a Windsor knot so they were ready to pull over his head. He was romantic and sweet and kind to me, as long as I stayed in place. I did those chores for him because I loved him, not because I wanted to be placed in a symbolic role of a “woman serving her man.”

The problem was I could not just stay still in one place and fill that one role. I enjoyed playing the dominant role sexually as well. It was one of the things I relished about gay life. You could be a top one night and flip the script and be a bottom the next. There was no such flipping with Larry. He said I was “confused.” It was our deal breaker.

Don’t call me confused.

I know exactly what I want.

I want your ass, I want your dick.

Your ass…

Your dick…

Your ass…

Your dick...

Your ass round my dick…

Your dick inside my ass…

Don’t you see,

it takes a real man to say:

Drop the masks

and drop ya drawers

Total bottoms bore me

Total tops annoy me

Give me a FLIP FUK

any day

I do u

U do me and as we

fuk we do each other

Fuk U/ Fuk me

Then flip it

Signed,

A 50 something Old School Brotha.

Actor/Author Dale Guy Madison is the author of “Dreamboy: My Life A QVC Host & Other Hits” and is currently publishing the adult fairytale, “Sissy Sammy in the Land Of West Hollywood 90069.”