THE SIXTH ANNUAL TOP TEN BEAUTIFUL MEN LIST

The Beautiful Man List was created in response to People Magazine's World's Most Beautiful List. I have always been dismayed by society's slender, Aryan-esque standards of beauty. There has always been a great disconnect between whom I give my applause to and to whom gets thunderous standing ovations. Over the years, however, I have discovered that my own tastes have a tendency to run parallel to classically beautiful archetypes of fair skin, chiseled muscles and slender features. So much so that friends and onlookers alike have commented, "So what exactly is the difference between you and the White Folks' lists?" I have yet to come up with a comprehensive, logical answer but with this being the last official list of the Monthly Breeze... I think I've come close.

My qualifications over the years have been this: be male (as far as I know), be cute (to me), no one I ever slept with (that I remember) and they got to have a decent looking picture that I can post on the list. It's a very low maintenance, politically incorrect selection process and what I have learned is that... well... I'm not too much different from White Folks. I'm just a dude that likes cute dudes. Some of them are older, some of them have moles, some of them have a few extra pounds, some are too tall, some are too short (but none are Too $hort because that dude is just ratchet)... but they all are handsome and beautiful to me and I feel a little empowered bu by simply acknowledging their beauty to the world.

Keep in mind, I have no idea what the sexual proclivities are of any of these dudes and as far as I know the majority of them I have assumed are heteroseuxal. But you know... a guy can dream. And cute is what cute does. 

So without further ado I present to you the 6th (and last) Beautiful Man List. 

Enjoy!

10. Zach Galifianakis So this is sort of a personal plea. Back when I was just a lil' pup studying film and screenwriting back in Columbia College, Chicago, I had the hugest crush on this dude named Paul who turned out to be the FIRST person I ever asked out on a date and the ONLY White dude I have ever asked out on date. He loved jazz and thought Trugoy from De La Soul was sexy. I always imagined that he grew up to be Zack Galifiankis. Physically they have the same swagger. Personality wise, Paul was way more entertaining. So if anybody knows Paul... tell him to hit me up, wouldn't mind having coffee with him. And oh yeah... Zach is cool too... he's alright... 9. Donald Faison Who knew that the skinny little kid with braces and the huge chocolate chip mole on his lip on Clueless would grow up to be such a hottie? And as he gets older, he gets thicker and as he gets thicker, so does the lump in my pants. Guy Love indeed! 8. Chiwetel Ejiofor

You know... I think it was seeing him in drag in Kinky Boots that first turned my eye. Between him and the other Black Brit Idris Elba I dig Chiwetel just a little more for unflinching need to play the weirdest and most engaging characters out there. The fact that he has hair doesn't hurt. Nor is the idea of him wearing kinky boots.

7. Jamison Reeves


Jamison who? You've probably seen in him a couple of commercials, the quirky non threatening Black dude and a few lower rung characters in movies and television shows. So just for clarification, cute, chubby, bearded, kinda blind... yum!

6. Prince Fielder


So this is the second Baseball Player I have had on the list and the same facts remain true, I know nothing about baseball, have no intention of learning anything about baseball... but I will always watch baseball as long they wear those tight tight pants. Enter Mr. Prince Fielder, shoving all that thick bearded goodness into those tight tight pants. I fucking LOVE Baseball! It's America's past time! Touchdown!

5. Phil Heath

Phil Heath is an American IFBB professional bodybuilder, the current Mr. Olympia... and he looks like the picture above. Period.

4. SkyBlu


Skyler Austen Gordy a.k.a. Sky Blu, is the cuter half of the now defunct musical duo LMFAO. And with all due respect to Redfoo, every time there was a live performance of their hit "Sexy And I Know It" when he would jump out on the stage in comically small underwear, the nation uncomfortably laughed and mused, "Where is SkyBlu in HIS elephant thong?" He has since cut his hair, kept that body, dropped the uncle and is partying even harder. Keep on keeping on SkyBlu... you ARE sexy and I know it!

3. David Zayas


Now the thing is, as my tastes go, leading men for the most part don't turn my head. This is definitely  the case with Mr. Zayas as he was pretty much on the peripheral of some of the more juicer storylines on Oz. But I just could not but help keep my eyes on that handsome face despite the waves of muscular forced anal sex that happened on the show. The same went for Dexter... were people being murdered on that show? I don't know... I thought it was a show about about a really handsome dude with a wicked smile and Havana shirts. Was there anybody else on that show?

2. ?uestlove


Now ?uestlove is my eternal straight boy crush. He's been on the list twice before and I couldn't keep him off the FINAL list. The dude is a musical prodigy, smart as a whip, chunky, got that street swagger and the things I would do to that afro are probably illegal in certain states. Cheers to ?uestlove for making the pounding in my heart have a percussion section.

1. Roger Mooking


A former roommate and I used to fight over who loved Roger Mooking more... he being the epitome of the perfect guy for the both of us. For him it was the fact that he is a world renowned chef. For me it is the fact that he is short a.k.a. fun size, Trinidadian, can cook and also has a R&B, funk hip-hop band. The chef part doesn't hurt either. Neither is the fact that he's FYNE. As I hear he and his wife recently welcomed a third child into their happy homes and wish them nothing but the best. But if he ever hugs me, I can't guarantee flat pants...